My 1400th Entry.

I’m nothing if not efficient. I double-knot my shoelaces. I’ve flossed every day for twenty-two years. In Grand Theft Auto I pay the prostitutes promptly and never hit them with a bat.

But I’m still pleasantly surprised I’ve kept a blog going this long. 1400 entries? Someone better test my urine.

As is customary, I’ve selected my favorite five from the past 100 and post links. Here you go:

Real Los Angeles Heroes. Parking in LA is tricky – unless you’re a hoarder with a personality disorder. Cut the wheel and back it in here.

My Hate Mail. These people don’t necessarily hate me – they just hate my guts. Join hands and sing “Kumbaya” here.

I’m On TV This Week. If the camera puts on ten lbs., here’s hoping I become a big, fat shit. Catch me while I still fit into frame here.

My Favorite Place On Earth: An iPhone™ Photo Gallery. I’d want my ashes sprinkled there too, but I plan on being buried so I can come back as a zombie. In the meantime, grab a Yankee frank and an obscenely expensive seat here.

Get Your Butt To LA, Part 44: I Get Anecdotal On Your Ass. Someday the New York Jets will run a two-minute drill with this efficiency. Take a knee and start Tebowing here.