Saturday, October 25, 2014

“Reality.”

Stop watching reality shows. Just stop. They’re not real. Everything is cooked. But don’t ask me – ask the scout from “Finding Giants,” the NFL Network show. Right after he finishes his pretend call with his phone upside-down.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Early And Often.

With Clay Aiken running for congress, I urge all North Carolinians to vote hilariously.

And here in LA, vote the shit out of Bobby Shriver, who placed the ad in the LA Times this week, about bringing more filming back to LA. He’s one more Kennedy who gets it, and I like it.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

I’m A Cutter.

I thought I was having a pretty productive day. Until I realized my phone was set to east coast time and I’m in LA.

Nonetheless, I spent last night doing more editing on a short that I wrote, and I’m really happy with how it’s turning out.

Pardon my lack of humility when I say: festivals, start your boners.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

My 2100th Entry.

The best thing about writing a blog has gotta be the freedom. It has a very “high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes” vibe.

I’ve had the pleasure of saying what’s on my mind for a ridiculous amount of entries. And on this milestone, as per tradition, I chose  my favorite five posts of the last 100:

Road Hard: The Wrap Party. There’s nothing than chasing a movie shoot with fortified wine. Black out with me here. 

And It Ain’t The Exhaustion Talking. I get a little wussy when I haven’t slept. Snuggle with me here. 

What I Think Every Dude Should Know. Educating the latest dudes who turn pro, one bar mitzvah at a time. Grow a pair here. 

Eight Guys Eat Their Way Through Wisconsin: An iPhone™ Photo Gallery. I don’t need pictures to remind me of this weekend; the gut I can’t get rid of is memory enough. Road trip with Fatso here.

Here’s To My Friend. As I wrote this on the flight back from Boston, I wondered if I should even post it. I had no idea if it would resonate with anyone. It turned out to be one of the most popular entries I’ve ever written. Man-hug here.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

The Best New Show On TV.

If I was the bachelor, we’d all play Halo for like eight weeks, then I’d pick the one with the biggest boobs.

And then my new bride and I would watch some real TV – really amazing TV. “Marry Me” is the best new show on television. It’s so well written, so crammed full of jokes, so well cast with great characters played by hilarious actors that it’ll be off the air in about half a season. Because people wanna watch garbage. Reality shows.

It’s on tonight. You’ll see from the opening scene what I mean. It’s really good. Enjoy it while it lasts.

Monday, October 20, 2014

Weekend Slideshow.

Like clockwork (well, once every four years), I had the kickass celebrity sighting of Mel Brooks at Porta Via in Beverly Hills.

I like this: Wilson is now selling “Wilson” from Castaway volleyballs.

You know how pet owners begin to look like their pets? This woman at the bus stop looks awfully like the ad on the bench.

The only thing worse than getting the flu? Waiting for a flu shot at Target pharmacy – where hope goes to get violated. The good news: over an hour there, and I still never got the shot. The better news: the whole time, I had two gallons of milk going bad in my car.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

The Ultimate Definition Of “F-You Money”:

My neighbor hiring a full crew to decorate their house for Halloween.