Saturday, February 28, 2015

Thursday, February 26, 2015

Next Generation.

Warren Rockmacher’s father and my father went to podiatry school together. And that, my friends, is the Jewiest sentence to ever appear on this blog.

Our parents had instant chemistry, and the Rockmachers eventually had four kids, and my mom and dad had three. While most of my parents’ friends were completely insufferable (ya know, New Yorkers), my brothers and I loved going over to the Rockmachers’ house. We spent Sundays and holidays with them. They were the cool family. Hilarious. The ones with the giant RV, the pool, the go-cart. They were the only grownups we called by their first names – Phyllis and Larrie. My best memories of childhood are of our dads taking all seven kids in the RV (stocked with double-stuffed Oreos) to Six Flags in New Jersey every fall.

Warren and I hadn’t seen each other since my dad died, but we picked right up where we left off. He’s such a nice guy, but of course he is – he’s his parents’ kid. He told me the only time he’s ever seen his dad get emotional was when Larrie spoke at my father’s funeral. Death finally broke the bond they’d forged. I bet my dad would have liked that their sons have forged one, too.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

The Second Great Movie Of 2015.

My people were simple folk. Our family crest has a can of Dinty Moore beef stew on it.

But the Kingman – those are some swashbuckling dudes. And their movie is a homage to great spy films, blatantly acknowledging James Bond.

Actually, it’s a throwback to Bond films the way they used to be, before Jason Bourne forced James Bond to become a virtual super hero. Kingsman: The Secret Service is slick, retro cool, and loaded with high-tech gadgetry.

Everyone in this film is cool. Colin Firth, as an ass-kicking father-figure in a double-breasted suit, wielding an umbrella. (Wait ‘til you see his fight scene choreographed by Lynyrd Skynyrd’s “Free Bird.”) Michael Caine, as the grandfather-figure who could probably still beat your ass if need be. And the new kid, Taron Egerton, previously a British TV star, really owns the screen.

January and February are normally a dumping ground for films that have zero award-show potential. So it would behoove a smart studio (in this case, Fox), to release one that is fun and bad ass and can really clean up this time of year.. You should go see this movie. It’s great.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

Watch My New Comedy Short.

A few years ago, I made a pact with myself: every night I couldn’t get into bed until I came up with a premise for a film. You could say I respected that pact – I wound up with 465 premises.

The list of ideas is so daunting, nuns cross themselves when they see it. And I took one of them and wrote it as a comedy short, enlisted my friends Bru and Aina, and we made it. Take a look.

I also posted it on Funny or Die. If you like it, click here and vote “funny.” Either way, I can finally get some rest.

Monday, February 23, 2015

Sour Milk, Duck Blogging Season, Frumpy Oprah. Or As I Like To Call It: Saturday.

The checkout line at Vons moved so slowly, I wondered if my milk would make it out before it expired.

These lost ducks were outside a Fresh & Easy market. Turns out ducks will quack when you give them pretzels.

Oprah’s Selma wardrobe. I assumed she’d step out from behind it and announce that everyone at ArcLight was getting this dress.

Saturday, February 21, 2015

My Lock.

Gambling on the Academy Awards? I’m like the catdog of dirtbags and pussies.

The Wynn sports book has updated its odds for best picture, and Boyhood has dropped behind Birdman at 6/5, which means I have to put $100 on Boyhood just to win $120. Birdman is good, but Boyhood is the best. I’m betting on it. Join me; thank me Monday.