Friday, August 29, 2014

Happy Laborious Day.

Driving past the Miller brewery in Irwindale yesterday, with its tanks resembling gigantic Miller Lite cans, I reflected on the true meaning of Labor Day: an excuse for white folks to behave like drunken assholes.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

And It Ain’t The Exhaustion Talking.

I’m about to squeeze in four hours of sleep before my next call-time, but I wanted to share this: what I’ve discovered while shooting the last three days is that you need to have the magic of the things you love – of the people you love or the restaurant you love or the neighborhood you love. You need to find that and put it in everything you film. Otherwise it’s just telling stories.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• If you ever feel stupid, remember how much you used to love your six-disc changer.

• My fantasy is to deliver a eulogy in which I simply say “So what?”

• The only way to know a teen in a movie is ashamed to be out with his parents is to have him wearing headphones.

• The Egyptians didn’t worship cats nearly as much as the Internet.

• I’ll never forget where I was the day I learned to add page numbers to a word doc.

• Not being able to sleep is the new sleep

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Don’t Get Mad – Get A MacBook.



I got 99 problems, but I’m avoiding them all.

My friend John, however, is attacking them. Last week, he flew to Europe to shoot a role, and lost his bag at Heathrow. Fuming, he did what men have done for centuries when faced with a dilemma: created a video in his hotel room as revenge. Pretty damn impressive, considering the limitations.

Monday, August 25, 2014

Watching Over Us.

The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.

That’s pretty much all I know about having or raising kids. But I do understand better about a child leaving the nest, thanks to Rob Lowe. He wrote a very enlightening chapter in his latest book about dropping off his older son at college for the first time last year, and how bittersweet it was for the whole family. I gave the book to my friend John, who just flew across the country to drop his older daughter off UConn.

In the midst of their trip, John’s family went out to eat, and above their table was Rob Lowe’s signed headshot.

Now, I don’t really believe in signs from the universe, but if I did, that sure was something.

Saturday, August 23, 2014

Hunting The Ultimate Prey.

There’s relentless, and then there’s game-ending, backboard-shattering slam dunk relentless.

A good article was trending yesterday featuring my friend Ted Melfi, who directed the first movie I wrote, about how he infiltrated the panic-room level reclusiveness of Bill Murray.

Friday, August 22, 2014

My Entire Life Has Led Up To This Moment.

About to start a big shoot. Cold Stone delivered.