Friday, June 24, 2016

Police Station In A Strip Mall.

Between a Ross and a Dress Barn. Inglewood is LIT.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Friend In Low Places.

I just want to be rich enough to say “that won't be necessary” when the police start to handcuff me.

A backstory: when I was a kid, my parents were looking to buy a vacation place for us, and one of my dad’s podiatry partners told him about a condo he’d bought in Ocean City, MD. My parents bought the condo next door to him, and we spent two weeks every summer and every three-day weekend with his family.

They had three kids, and we had three kids, and we all got along. Those are some of the best memories of my life. Good on Paul and Sheila Shevin, because for kids, Ocean City is the SHIT – a beach-town peninsula packed with fast food joints, arcades, jet-skis and dune buggies.

We eventually lost touch with that family, save for a little Facebook catching up I had with their daughter a couple years ago. Then her brother, always a sweet kid back in the day, did something not so sweet.

He was arrested on Tuesday, for making and selling firearms, including AK-47s and AR-15s. Police seized 59 weapons in all, 49 of them illegal. That’s one of the evidence photos, above.

Not helping:
  • He was arrested after dropping off his daughter at school, while carrying an illegal firearm on school grounds 
  • Wrong place, wrong time – the arrest happened where he was living, in Fairfield, CT, only 20 miles from Sandy Hook 
  • Some of the guns seized didn't have serial numbers, so they couldn’t be traced. He was selling silencers as well. 
  • Many of the guns found in his house were not locked up or secured, so the cops went ahead and notified the Department of Children and Families 
  • He had business cards and a website that proclaimed “All of your AR needs... no names, no numbers, no witnesses.
The arrest is all over the news in NY, and in a time in which we don’t know how to stop shooters, the guys who supply the weapons are going down hard. They’re gonna jack up the jail and throw him under it.

My brothers, my mom and I are trying to wrap our heads around all of this. It hits much too close to home. Though I must say, way to go, Mom – three for three, no gun arrests. Much respect.

Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Cracking The Whip.

I want to sit in a Starbucks and scream into my phone, “What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?”

I may wanna buy Kevlar first. In the meantime, I put in some serious writing of my own last night on my sitcom, fleshing out one particular plotline.

Let’s face it: writing is a bitch. Or a bastard. Pick your gender. Doesn’t matter. The process is a pain no matter how you shake your fist and swear at it. But one thing is for certain: the toughest part is getting started. Just start, and you’ll surprise yourself. Stories will present themselves, characters will come to life, and you’ll find your way through.

No one ever regrets having written. Last night was a good night.

Tuesday, June 21, 2016

What Is Going On At My Neighbor’s House?

Bitchin’ passive-aggressive smiley face, though.

Monday, June 20, 2016


I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard.

There’s no room for bodies in my brother’s backyard, now that he and his wife finished their new hangout area, complete with a full kitchen and bathroom, fire pit and fireplace, and a crying wall. So we broke the place in on Saturday night.

Pretty bitchin’ imported sink in the bathroom. (Imported from Mexico, but still.)

My nephew was proud of himself for breaking his previous record of staying up late –1:30 a.m. – but I think it’s also important for kids to experience defeat. So I kicked the shit out of him in pool.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Very Odd. And Very Good.

Lobsters would be proud of themselves if they knew how expensive they were.

Not helping their low self-esteem: the movie The Lobster, which is very interesting but VERY strange. The premise: single people are arrested and transferred to a creepy hotel, then forced to find a mate within 45 days, or be transformed into an animal and released into the woods.

Colin Farrell is great in this. He plays David, a sad sack with a bad mustache who seems incapable of cracking a smile. Oh well. Lobsters gonna lobst.

This is one of the smartest movies to come around in a long time. See it.

Thursday, June 16, 2016

I Am What I Eat.

According to a box of spaghetti, I am an Italian family of eight.

Food is my favorite. And Tuesday night, I stumbled into a new place to procure it: Au Fudge.

Au Fudge has super yummy food, and seemed a bit kid friendly. (I read later that Jessica Biel owns it, and that was her intent.) But I was there at night, and with all the kids all gone, it was just grownups in comfort-food heaven. Hell yeah that’s baked mac and cheese and chicken nuggets served in ceramic piglet dishes.

There’s also steak and chicken and salmon, and incredible desserts. Oh, and there’s a mini arcade:

The check comes with two pieces of fudge, which were so rich, we headed straight into the bakery section for more. Sure, I eat my feelings. But at least they’re really happy ones.