Wednesday, May 27, 2015

How I Spend My Vacation.

Justifying overeating by claiming I’m not giving in to society’s body image pressures.

Bonding with my little brother.

Letting my mom insist I blog about this woman who has a serious popcorn jones.

Shamelessly posting this pic of a chicken and a calf for all the ladies who love those “unusual animal friendships that will melt your heart” slide shows.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Slumming In The South Bronx.

I won’t ask how my younger brother got free, kickass seats to Yankee Stadium to see the team retire Bernie Williams’ number. I’ll just presume it’s a mob connection.

Related: this photo of Joe DiMaggio above the stadium food court is more offensive to Italian Americans than “The Sopranos” and “The Jersey Shore” put together.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Thoughts On A Flight To New York.

According to the timely news feed in the cab, The Gambler is coming to theaters December 19th.

There’s a network on Dish TV called the Go Pro Channel. And once again it’s official: we’ve failed as a society.

Both the male and female flight attendants wore matching scrunchies.

After this kid wailed the entire time, I propose it cost $5000 to fly with a baby.

Friday, May 22, 2015

Dropping In.

No one shows their true character more than when they are retrieving their bags from baggage claim.

Which is why I’m strictly carrying on tomorrow, when I fly to New York for a week-long break.

I’ll blog the whole time, and try to limit bashing NYC. But I make no promises.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

Goodnight.

What was hugely popular back in the day is always a head-scratcher in retrospect. I swear DJs would pause in the middle of “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” in order to play “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It,” and then play the rest of “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It.”

David Letterman was once the funniest guy on the planet. I idolized him.

Tina Fey recently said, “For my generation, Dave completely defined the way we spoke to each other. I didn’t meet one boy in college who wasn't talking in Dave's cadence and ripping off his style. Whose deal will young people adopt now to try to impress each other? I worry for them.”

My friend Marc sounded so much like Dave, we eventually just called him Dave.

But then the real Dave moved to CBS, and the middle of the road with his humor and he lost a step. And he lost me. So I get it if you wonder what all the fuss is about.

All things change, and everything ends, and starting today we will no longer be living in a world in which David Letterman is on television five nights a week. For those of us who grew up on him, he leaves a hole shaped like a lifetime.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Top-Notch Security.

7th and Broadway’s finest.