Monday, December 5, 2016

What To Do In December In Los Angeles.

Californians reacting to snowfall is very similar to cavemen reacting to seeing fire for the first time.

Yet there we were, spending Friday night at The Grove, drinking on the balcony at Bar Verde, when the snow machines kicked in. Our heads exploded.

I presumed this guy on the trolley with his hand on the back of the snowman was dating whoever was stuffed inside. Then I realized he was keeping the person inside from tumbling to a hilariously embarrassing death.

The Apple Store changing their logo to red for the holidays is the second smartest thing they’ve done since preventing their phones from exploding.

The kid in me said, “Buy 30 bucks of candy.” But the adult in me said, “Buy 30 bucks of candy and more liquor.”

We had to go off the reservation for pizza late night, and here’s a tip: Damore’s is open until 4 a.m., and so good that I wolfed down a slice faster than anyone could snap a pic.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

30 Seconds Of November.

No-Shave November was a success, so I guess it’s time for No-Date December, JustMe January and Forever-Alone February.

Here is my November, one second per day:

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Upstaged.

I got an email last week from the vet wishing Ricky a happy birthday. I replied, asking them to call him because he can’t read.

Ricky was born on Thanksgiving, 2011, and last week he turned five on Thanksgiving day. Your move, greeting card section.

Bit of a gyp for anyone with a birthday coinciding with a holiday, so I gave Rick a big, fat chewy and a preposterously long walk before I deserted him to stuff my own face. He was cool about it. Happy belated.

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

I Got To Say It Was A Good Actor Day.

I just found a new app that that tells you which of your friends are boring. It’s called Facebook.

That is, unless, you’re my friend Will Radford. I woke up early two weeks ago and saw a Facebook post from Will that read: “Tuesday was another one of those great ‘actor days’ – callback for a national commercial, producer read for a fun role on a network dramedy, and ending with a good class. So grateful for the activity...”

I love Will. I think of him as a brother. But I felt a twinge of jealousy all actors feel – that my career had been a little slow the past month. (Even Aaron Eckhart mentioned going through it recently in the LA Times.) I got out of bed and went to the gym, where I bumped into my other acting brother, Ariel, and told him I needed a good acting day like Will. (Small world: the screen-grab above is of Will on an episode of “Silicon Valley”, a role in which he unwittingly beat out Ariel to get. Oh the pain, William, the pain.)

Hold that thought. Three hours after I spoke to Ariel, I received a callback for a national commercial. Five minutes after that, I got an audition for a drama on ABC. The universe was eavesdropping.

And the very next day, I nailed the drama audition, went to my commercial callback, and am now on avail (one of the top two choices) for a role the commercial. And just like that, I had one of those great actor days.

Whatever you need today, go ahead and bitch about it. Whine like crazy. Be the squeaky wheel. Trust me.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Long Day’s Schlep Into Night.

The entrance into LAX on the Sunday after Thanksgiving is like eight lanes merging into a hiking trail.

I live 4.3 miles from away. The first 3.2 miles took me five minutes. I glanced at Waze to see how long the last 1.1 miles would take, and it said 25 minutes. Seemed like a glitch, and it was – it took an hour and 15 minutes.

Eh, I was asked to pick someone up. I’m a giver. Nifty new installation at LAX, by the way – an area for dogs to pee, complete with a genuine fire hydrant: