Tuesday, April 24, 2018

It’s Funny ‘Cause It’s True.

If I’ve learned anything from Twitter, it’s that you shouldn’t be learning on Twitter.

I’m still reading Judd Apatow’s massive collection of interviews with comedians, and really liked this back and forth with Saturday Night Live’s Michael Che:
MICHAEL: It’s so passionate on Twitter. But if someone recognizes you on the street, it’s like, “I’m your biggest fan.” Everybody I’ve ever met is my biggest fan and everybody on Twitter thinks I suck and shouldn’t have a job. It’s a strange thing that people do.

JUDD: Twitter’s just this place where the twenty percent who hate what you do will just let you know, and then it feels like eighty percent hate it. I don’t love Spanish rock and roll, but I’m not on the Internet trashing it all day long. People love to debate what works on SNL. In every era of the show, people love to trash it while loving it and watching it. But the audience never seems to understand that the whole show is written in a week and the fun of it is trying to see how many good ones they can uncork.

MICHAEL: I always say that too, when people compare the show to other sketch shows. If we were a taped show that was condensed to a half hour, if we were able to get every perfect shot that we needed with directors, with great comic actors, it would be the best comedy show on TV. But we can’t do that. If our host each week wasn’t a person who has never done comedy before and we didn’t have to write every sketch about them and their ability and skill set, it would be amazing. But that’s not the way the show works – and that what makes it so special.

Monday, April 23, 2018

How Windy Has LA Been?

I half expected to see a Smart Car stuck in a tree.

But I did see a Vons supermarket blown concave.

Okay, we get it. Enough.

Friday, April 20, 2018

Once Again, Purging My iPhone Photos.

I saw four vasectomy billboards on my two-hour drive from across Florida in February. It’s like Florida knows what has to be done to Florida.

Thursday, April 19, 2018

She’ll Be Entirely Missed.

When I die, I want my body tossed out of an airplane while wearing a superman costume.

I’m guessing Barbara Bush’s funeral will be a tad more reserved. She was a first-class woman, and a source of pride in my hometown – Rye, NY – where she grew up.

She married George Bush in the church across from my high school, and once, on a visit to Rye while she was First Lady, said, “I've been with George to 67 different countries and all 50 of the United States. And believe me when I tell you, there’s no place like home.”

Great lady. Great place to grow up.

Wednesday, April 18, 2018

The Ridiculous T-Shirts Of My Fellow Gym Members.

Hot tip: wear workout clothes when you’re getting Burger King breakfast, so the drive-thru dude thinks you worked out first. Don’t be afraid to live your best life.

The workout clothes at my gym range from worrisome to cringe-worthy. Dig:

You’d better lift to help defend yourself, nerd.

I would never mock the dude who wears this to his face – he’s a gigantically-ripped principal of a junior high. It’s the worst of both worlds.

Proud of his eating disorder.

Worn by a woman. I can actually semi-tolerate this one.

A lot of Bible-thumping going on at my gym. Even though Jesus did not have a spotter’s physique.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

David Bowie With The Assist.

I can’t wait to finish my first painting, so I can hang it in front of a cool hidden safe in my wall. Though the safe will probably be filled with toilet paper rolls.

There are a couple other benefits I’ve found in the first few days since I’ve started, and I talked about them with my younger brother, who is an intervention specialist in New York. He then sent me a pic of the label next to a painting by David Bowie hanging at the Brooklyn Museum.

I’ve never done a drug in my life, but I very much get the new creative energy. When I’m out and about, I’m painting the next step in my head, and can’t wait to put it on the canvas. I highly recommend.

Here’s David’s painting of Iggy Pop, by the way. He hasn’t aged a day.

Monday, April 16, 2018

I’ll Have The All-Day Nap, Please.

My hangover has been going on for so long that I’m began to wonder if Martin Scorcese had directed it.

But it was worth it. I spent Saturday night at Westbound, a bar in the arts district of downtown LA. Built on the site of a Santa Fe Railroad station, the place was designed to look like an old railway car. And they enhance the experience by serving drinks in old-timey highball glasses with metal straws.

I had a hangover so good, I crawled out of my bedroom naked and slept on my kitchen floor for another few hours. Consider this my Yelp review.