Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Credit For An Ass-Beating.

I should get IMDb credit for every time I pretend to be surprised when a couple I know breaks up.

It should be that easy. Speaking of which, actor Aaron Abrams received this message:

Hey Aaron, 
Hope all is well with you. 
 Just a quick question. I was thinking of ways to make extra cash, and thought about acting gigs. How do you go about finding out about casting calls for commercials and tv, etc., and do they take ppl with no experience? Do you need an agent, etc. You living in LA now? 

Here’s Aaron’s response:

Dear 36 Year Old Cousin of An Acquaintance I Haven’t Spoken To Since Summer Camp, 

I can absolutely forward your name to Acting Headquarters! Just a few quick questions for you so I can tick the right boxes on the form: Do you want the fame package or would you rather start easy and get the underrated but well respected combo? Will you be needing AHQ to hook you up with an actress as well? What kind of scarf would you like? 

And just a thought, while acting is certainly well paid labor that requires zero skill, there are other fields as well...for example, have you tried being an abstract expressionist painter? (Hey, you don't even need a brush!) Or, if you write a beloved novel, that can be a really great way to get extra beer money because people keep buying it forever (residual income, bro) - I mean, acting can be fun but very few of us get that Victor Hugo money. 

 I’ll let you know ASAP when the top brass get back to me so we can initiate Phase II: Easy Street, I know they’ll be super grateful for your interest as there's a huge shortage of people who would like to be actors. And hey, if there’s any extra investment consulting work kicking around your office, I’d love to make a few extra bucks as well. 


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