Thursday, August 22, 2013

Hell Yes, Barry O.

I can always tell when my dog is having a dream because he kicks his legs and then won’t shut the hell up about what it could mean.

But he can carry on all he wants about the President, because on Tuesday, as the Obamas introduced their new puppy, the White House came out against laws that restrict ownership of dogs by breed, most particularly Pit Bulls.

Yep, a lot of cities, including Denver, ban Pits. The entire country of Australia bans them as well, which is just preposterous. I owned a very typical, extremely sweet Pit Bull for 12 years, and after he passed, I went right out and adopted another Pit puppy. And Ricky has the exact same personality of Petey. Don’t believe the myth

Trivia question: on the list of the top breeds of dogs that bite, where do Pit Bulls rank? Answer below. But first, let me bust a few myths about Australia. You may know that the colonization of Australia was driven by the need to address overcrowding in the British prison system, which makes sense, because 200 later, the offspring of these winners have created one big redneck shithole. Many of you yearn to visit or even live in Australia, but my friend Rob did just that, living there for a year, and he’ll take your ear off about how much the country hates Americans, and that the top 10 TV shows there are all gardening shows (something please explain that to me) and the Sydney Opera House, the very symbol of the entire continent, desperately needs a power wash.

Trivia answer: on the list of dog breeds that bite, Pit Bulls rank 33rd. And a bonus fact: the plural of “Australian” is “losers.”