This Week In @mattshevin Tweets.

• I warn you, Arrowhead Water Co. - it won’t be the first time I take an axe to a vending machine.
• My staunch bachelor friend Bru suddenly got married. Good to know he’ll have a human shield when Seal Team Six arrives.
• New favorite band name: Com Truise. Sorry, Dead Kennedys.
• Babysitting my niece and nephew has brought out a paternal need to knock up their heavyset nanny. #SchwarzeneggerStyle.
• How do you make the heavily-pierced chick behind the counter at Valentino’s Pizza blush? Tell her she has a hickey.