This Week In @mattshevin Tweets.

• Who's sadder: the guy with a garbage bag for a window in his Geo Metro, or the guy who broke into a Geo Metro?
• When my nephew doesn’t get his way, he yanks off his pants and underwear in protest. Get your own move, kid.
• Offered an insecure chick at a casting workshop the $128 in my wallet if she was capable of not using the words "my" or "husband" in every sentence.
• Turns out she's capable of not using any words at all. #moneywellspent
• I don't like the way condoms feel, so I'm just going to drive a Mini with a giant Red Bull can bolted onto it and never get laid. #safesex
• I bet Facebook drags LinkedIn into the boys bathroom, turns it upside down over a toilet and gives it a swirly.
• Did the bald guy get together with the manly broad yet? #TheRoyalWedding
• Happy Easter. Or, to everyone here at my gym, happy Sunday, Jews and orphans.