Thursday, July 30, 2009

New Levels Of Scumbaggery: An Ongoing Series.

After browsing through recent acting breakdowns – our version of classified ads – I would like to publicly apologize to all previously-bashed reality shows for all the times I accused them of being shamefully despicable. Clearly, I didn't know from despicable.

Your witness:

MALE LOOKING TO PROPOSE / No Union Affiliation / Featured / Male / All Ethnicities / 28-35
Searching for a male who is looking to propose to his girlfriend. Must be outgoing and willing to work two full days with no pay. It's a way to get your face in front of a huge production company.


Forget proposing via the jumbotron at Dodger Stadium, douschey, attention-deprived guys – you can do better.

And which, exactly, is more degrading: being paid to have your proposal orchestrated and filmed? Or not being paid to have your proposal orchestrated and filmed? Also, this “huge” production company you’ll be getting your face in front of is apparently non-profit.

How do I plan on eliminating all reality shows from existence? One at a time, my friends. One at a time.