I’m gonna play hooky today, and once again turn the reins over to the fine readers of Esquire:The sound of laughter coming from a room does not necessarily mean everyone is having a good time. Same is true of group photos, where everyone is smiling. --John Gaccione, 62, Dix Hills, N. Y.
There is no bad place to sleep when you're drunk. --Dino Tripodis, 47, Columbus, Ohio
Delivered with the proper grace and respect, a cold Gatorade in July can get you as far with your trash guys as a fifty at Christmas. --John Memoli, 41, Alexandria, Virginia
Get the one with the sunroof. --Eric Gabriel, 36, Durham, North Carolina
The best thing about being an artist is that you never go to bed wishing you were an energy trader. Energy traders do, however, lie awake some nights wishing they hadn’t given up the piano. --Barry Friedman, 51, Tulsa
Put your blue socks on the opposite side of the drawer from your black socks. --Joe Cassidy, 38, East Aurora, New York
Never date a woman who’s just broken up with an ex-Navy Seal. --Chris Rogers, 37, Los Angeles
Never let people roll down hills inside of things. --Hugh Ross, 43, Los Angeles
Never drive behind an old man wearing a hat. --Dave Rodgerson, 48, Hamilton, Ontario
Most Greeks have never visited the Parthenon. Most French people rarely look at the Eiffel Tower. How many New Yorkers have actually visited the Statue of Liberty? Everyone wants to enter someone else's monument. That's why men will never stop cheating on their wives. --Kostas Farmakis, 32, Athens, Greece
