I do not profess to be an expert, but I do like to enlighten women on Valentine’s Day, with ten things that give them a glimpse inside our tiny man brains. This is by far my favorite post every year.
- YOU: I like you. HIM: That doesn’t work for me. YOU: I hate you. HIM: You. I’m going to focus on you.
- If you ever have your heart broken, consider me your guardian angel – I’ll take away your phone, and leave you alcohol and possibly your first puppy.
- We’re mostly looking for very tall girlfriends to reach the cookies. Or very small girlfriends we can lift up to get the cookies.
- A mattress will double in weight after six years. So will every guy you sleep with.
- Hide bubble wrap in your bra for hilarious hugs.
- Instead of going to couple’s therapy, married people should just join Tinder and see what a nightmare single people have to deal with.
- If you want to leave a note on your ex-boyfriend’s car saying you still love him, make sure it doesn’t go unnoticed – key it into the door pretty deep.
- Yeah breakups hurt, but have you ever forwarded a friend a tweet about your sports team and he replies back “I already saw this”?
- Goal in your next relationship: sex so good, your Fitbit gives you a trophy.
- Guys who work and play hard are fine, but find a dude too lazy to cheat on you.
