In Which I Visit I Visit The Orange County Fair. Part II.

Every time a woman sees two-day old piglets, I have to talk their ovaries down like a hostage negotiator.

You wouldn’t think an orange-chicken burrito would work, but it doesn’t.

If by “crunches” you mean the sound homemade potato chips make when you chew them, then yes, I do crunches.

The weather for the fair is always sweltering, so much respect for the carnies who installed AC units into every car on the ferris wheel.