Monday, May 15, 2017

How I Spent My Birthday, By Matt Shevin.

Celebrating my birthday in my favorite place on earth in totally kickass seats? Kisses fingers. Perfecto.

Actually, the day belonged to Derek Jeter, whose number was retired in a pregame ceremony.

The first rule of delivering a speech is to keep it short, which Derek did. The second rule, and I learned this the hard way: best men should never say, “ See you at his next wedding.”

The tickets came thanks to my younger brother, who has serious pull in New York. Seats in the Legends section are $2400 apiece, but last night they were going for several times that amount. They come with access all night to a fancy restaurant below the stands, and all the food is included. The cheese for this parmesan risotto was being melted in an actual cheese wheel. Hot dogs it ain’t.

Forget the five World Series rings – appearing on dessert is the greatest accomplishment you can garner.

You ladies haven’t had the pleasure of peeing into a stadium trough. But in the very tony Legends section, the bathrooms have mirrors with monitors built in. The complete antithesis of enduring another dude’s back-splash.

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