Wednesday, April 12, 2017

You Asked, And (Unlike United) I Deliver.

I wish airlines would stop calling it your “final destination”. Have they not seen those movies?

Of course, with United Airlines, there is no destination, because you plain ain’t getting there.

I was going to refrain from blogging about them after their latest fiasco, but several people messaged me, asking what I thought, and I do like to take requests.

Now, before anyone comments that the “doctor” shouldn’t have reacted like a bonkers child, I agree. What I would have done in his situation is hang my head, collect my things, get off the plane, and blame MYSELF – because I chose to fly United. Shanna, they bought their tickets, they knew what they were getting into. I say, let ‘em crash.

I also understand that the girls who were asked to change their clothing a couple weeks back were United dependents, and there’s a strict dress code for them.

What I don’t understand is why people keep flying United in the first place. My friend Sharon, a major United frequent flyer, explained to me that it all went to shit when Continental merged with them in 2010. Now the only thing you can truly count on is a weekly PR disaster. You know you’ve hit rock bottom when other airlines can’t help but pounce:

No surprise the employees commit blunder after blunder, when they have no leadership. Shit rolls downhill. Like in 2015, when United’s CEO stepped down in disgrace over graft involving the Newark Airport Port Authority. Their new CEO insisted, “We’re really not that unstable.”

Nice tagline, dude.

So how do we break this endless cycle? Simple: don’t fly United. Let’s stop choosing flights based on the cheapest fares. Say a flight on United is $400, and the next cheapest flight is $450. What is 50 bucks worth to you? Is it worth not having your flight delayed five times and then canceled? Or being asked to de-plane because an airline hasn’t learned after 91 years of commercial flights how to keep from overbooking them?

JetBlue has free WiFi, so right there you’ll save $25 off your round-trip. And you’ll also have access to JetBlue’s Pantry, will all the drinks and snacks you can consume. That’s worth a couple bucks. JetBlue has even figured out a way to work in conjunction with TSAs in their terminals, making them faster and better, so you’ll go from your Uber to your gate in ten minutes. You can’t put a price on that. And yet I will: $50.

Do you know who suggested the Pantry? Flight attendants. Management listened.

I bought my Christmas flight to NY on JetBlue two weeks ago. I know eight months in advance it’s going to leave on time, and be an absolute delight.

Stop flying United. Put them out of business. Support those that get it. Or don’t. I mean, when airline that can’t do anything right, what’s the worst that could happen?
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