Friday, April 1, 2016

Unofficial, Unpaid Spokesman.

Flying United is like hitching a ride with a guy who brutally murders hitchhikers after they give him 600 bucks for gas and Doritos.

Flying JetBlue, however, is a dream, with all the free snacks and drinks you want in a nifty cooler in the middle of the plane.

Flying United is like flying a drunk goose.

Flying JetBlue is comfy, with big, leather seats and free WiFi.

WiFi is $31 on United.

Flying United is like living downstairs at Downton Abbey.

JetBlue somehow figured out a way to make going through TSA at their terminals super fast.

Flying United out of JFK is like 311’s music built a terminal and also ran an airline.

I’m on a JetBlue flight this morning. Thank Jesus.

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