Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Advantage: Uncle Mack.

You know a gift is gonna suck when the giver launches into an explanation while you’re opening it.

Not a problem for my mom, who always comes through with the perfect present. Like the electric Razor scooter she gave me in December.

That prompted my niece to want one as well, so my mom sent one her way, which was great, because I needed a racing opponent. Now my niece, nephew and I have been spending our Sundays hauling ass around their school, parking lots and sidewalks.

But there’s a problem: I have 120 lbs. on them, and have been consistently losing. So I decided to do what any good uncle would: cheat.

I cracked open the motor to get to the processor board. Then I used a soldering iron to override the current limiter. Diabolical.

The result: the scooter flies now. A huge increase in torque and speed. It’s go time.

It’s important for children to learn early on about dealing with loss. You’re welcome, kids.