Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• Everyone knows you can just buy a Klondike bar, right?

• No guy named Larry was ever a baby. They actually walk out of their mothers womb with receding hairlines in sandals with socks.

• Thank god my dad never owned an NBA team.

• Do not email me when my bill is ready – email me when someone has paid it, thank you.

• Are snitches still eligible for stitches under Obamacare?

• I bet Anne Hathaway’s parents still play the “quiet game” with her.