Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• Sorry, but if your dog is small enough to be carried away by a falcon, then it shouldn’t be called a dog.

• My superpower is understanding iPhone text typos.

• When you bump into an ex who got married, you could look at it as horrendous – or realize you made it to the semi-finals.

• Twitter’s suggestions of who to follow is like your mom trying to set you up on a date. • Has anyone been old longer than Bob Newhart?

 • If money can’t buy happiness, explain pizza.