Thursday, November 28, 2013

I Give Thanks.

Cal-a-Vie Health Spa in Los Angeles makes something they like to call Gluten-Free Savory Stuffing. I call it Satan.

Nonetheless, today I like to thank all the people, places and things that make my blog possible. I’m thankful for:
  • Jews in Santa outfits 
  • Chicks playing trombones 
  • 36° temps in LA Phallic shower heads 
  • Ricky’s howling shushing a singing kid 
  • Dudes who use my pics to catfish other dudes 
  • Lays’s Chicken & Waffle flavored chips 
  • Plumbers who cut four unnecessary holes in my bedroom wall 
  • Meals served in terrariums 
  • America’s anus: Walmart #1536, in St. Petersburg, FL 
  • Communion wine with little pieces of fruit in it 
  • Kim Kardashian acting in a movie make it stop 
  • The guy shooting 100 feature films in 300 days 
  • The KidSpace poop exhibit 
  • Substituting rags for a rear bumper 
  • Ronald McDonald sporting a Hitler mustache 
  • The hot chick at a bar who turns out to be religious 
  • Living life like you’re in “private browsing” 
  • Surfer riots 
  • The Design-a-New-Hairstyle-for Nicolas-Cage dry-erase board 
  • Leading a life so incredible, the Westboro Baptist Church pickets my funeral

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