I stumbled upon a real doozy of ambition: a guy shooting 100 feature films in 300 days, and I’m completely fascinated by it. The other night, my friends and I discussed the logistics of pulling this off. The physical impossibility of shooting, downloading, compositing and editing even one film in four days. Our conclusion: we must contact this guy and film him, and create one hell of an unintentionally funny documentary.
Allow me to break down the highlights of what this guy posted. The first being arguably my favorite:
Post: Hello I am an award winning director and excellent writer, and I will be making 100 feature films in the next 300 days. I do expect a handful of these to win Cannes and Sundance, the others will merely be entertainment with meaningful messages.
Translation: Is it egomaniacal in here, or is it just me?
Post: We will shoot about 60 - 90 pages per day, the entire film. Some films I won’t write a script at all, and you can improv.
Translation: Like falling off a log.
Post: I’d like to flood the market with meaningful films, since today most films are retrograding our society even more.
Translation: I can cure herpes.
Post: You will star in all of the films, you will get 100 IMDB credits to your name.
Translation: 100 times shit is still shit.
Post: I need for you to be available to film for the next 300 days, only apply if you are willing to give 100% for the next 300 days. You will have a contract per film, that states meals copy and credit, no monetary payment at any time.
Translation: What desperate actor doesn’t have the means to take a year off?
Post: I will output to DVD and do the poster art, submit to Amazon.com for purchase.
Translation: Purchase 100 piece-of-shit movies, and you’re eligible for FREE super saver shipping.
Post: We will take a 1 week break after each 10 films is complete, to allow our minds and bodies to recuperate.
Translation: Even waterboarding victims get to take five every now and then.
Interesting fact: in the time you took to read this post, this guy produced six films. But hey, if anything I’ve said sounds skeptical, then please, prove me wrong, award-winning director and excellent writer. Prove me wrong.
