• “Larry Bird’s kid tried to hit his gf with his car? Gotta make a reference about his dad’s accuracy, but HOW?” – every asshole on Twitter.
• No means no, Facebook event inviters.
• The Google Maps Street View car just went by while I was in my underwear in my garage doing laundry. #NewHeadshot
• Just posted my annual Valentine’s blog entry. This “respecting women” thing is going to get me wicked laid.
• The delicate controller in my new DVR is about as accurate as whizzing out a third-story window.
