Well, for anyone who did miss them, especially the best part – the red carpet interviews – I took chronological notes which I’ve listed below, along with my impressions. No need to thank me – it’s an honor just to be opinionated:
4:21 p.m.: Jennifer Lawrence towers at least a foot over Al Roker. He’s a total fidget.
4:23 p.m.: Flaming douchebag Matt Lauer overcompensates for offending Anne Hathaway recently with this shit: “The beautiful Anne Hathaway is up here now. Anne, I said to Hugh Jackman a short time ago that there are a few really brave roles out there, and yours is one of them.”
4:34 p.m.: Carey Lowell, Richard Gere’s wife, is asked if Richard is nervous about his nomination, or if he’s just zen all the time, to which Richard, not nervous at all, interjected, “I shouldn’t say this, but I feel like an old hooker. ‘Next.’”
4:37 p.m.: Adele makes Al Roker look so much like a little person that I have to google his height. 5’8”? No way.
4:41 p.m.: Denzel Washington says he researched his alcoholic character from Flight by searching the word “drunks” on YouTube. His favorite is this guy struggling to put on his flip flop.
4:47 p.m.: Thought: those must have been some tiny, tiny pants that Al Roker pooped at the White House.
4:53 p.m.: Natalie Morales asks Sophia Vergara, who’s in the sequel to Machete, about the “exciting cast, which includes Mel Gibson!” Here’s praying Mel gets whacked before the end of the opening credits.
