Life will deliver moments when something daunting is about to happen, when you know it’s daunting, when you’ve done everything you could to prepare for the moment, but still, you just don’t know. I felt that way when I graduated from college, when I moved to LA and, incredibly, on New Year’s Day when I was about to take a look at a Pit Bull puppy. Oh my God. There is no stopping this now. Please tell me this will turn out all right. You take a leap of faith with life. You inhale and exhale. You hope.Seven months earlier I sat on the cement floor of a vet’s office, and pounded my fist on that floor and cried as the techs took away my 11 year old Pit Bull and put him down. And I thought I’d never get over it.
But last month the emptiness of being without a dog began to surpass the hurt of losing one. And for the first time I thought about getting a new puppy.
Back when Petey was dying, I wrote in a blog entry: “My friend Daniel told me that after Petey is gone, I need to get a new dog, because a good owner like me should always be taking care of one. And my friend Carolyn, a super-talented actress who proved once again my theory that actors are truly supportive, came with me to the oncologist, and sat with me there for three hours, and asked the doctor all the tough questions for me while my head was spinning. Who does that?”
On Sunday, Carolyn came with me to see the new puppy, and right away we didn’t like his situation: living outside, weaned off his mother too early, filthy after having been blasted by a skunk and not bathed. But as bad as he had it, the little guy came right up to me, wagging his tail in circles just like Petey. He was only five and a half weeks old, way short of when I should have been taking him, but he was coming home with me anyway and I was going to be an owner all over again.
There’s nothing quite like a puppy. They smell good. They fall asleep in your arms. They get you wicked laid. But I was justifiably worked up as I was about to take Ricky home, knowing in ten or eleven years I’d be back at the vet’s office, wishing there was something – anything – I could do to keep him around for just a little longer. I dove in anyway, and even as I spend the next couple months getting up every couple hours during the night to take this tiny guy out to pee, I’m really happy to do it. I’m a dog owner.
