Real Casting Notices I’ve Seen This Week.

• A freakishly good-looking man with a great body. Tall, dark and handsome. Ben is the picture of health, beauty and fitness. Ben is in psychological therapy to get over his fear of his own freakishly large penis. He is a crier.
• 6’ or taller Chinese basketball players.
• Looking for a Princess? Is this you or someone you know?? Someone who thinks she can have it all right now on someone else's wallet! Do you have champagne tastes on a beer budget? Do love designer duds? Respond now with how you are perfect for the show.
• Should have a hairy chest. Scenario: He pulls out some hair on his chest and sprinkles it over a bagel with cream cheese, then hands it to his buddy.
• We are seeking models to help promote our calendar, "6 Packs/9 Lives," featuring hunky, sexily dressed men, to help dispel the misconception that cats are only for women. Partial nudity is REQUIRED.
• Reference Donald Trump Hair tasseled, his face red, a sweat starting to form on his lip. Before his rage can reach full potential a sudsy Brillo pad is stuffed into his mouth.