Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I’m not the type to fight off headhunters or cannibals. I have trouble asking for more bread in a restaurant.
• My knowledge of Spanish consists only of condescending phrases to housekeepers and valet parkers.
• If they give you a bib for lobster, they should definitely give you a diaper for Indian food.
• Be more Italian – smash some barrels.
• Hiring felons to work in your porn shop is not the answer. Trust me.
• While you will learn to speak both Russian and Portuguese, Bad Guy School is just a party school.