Monday, August 29, 2011

I Kick New York While It’s Down.

A certain segment of the population wouldn't know a good thing if it fell on them. For these people, Los Angeles, California comes hurtling toward their heads from a great height.

Exactly how more plagues are you going to suffer through, New York? Should I order the XL or XXXL-size popcorn while I fire up the CNN and enjoy?

I think it’s time to deliver last rites on anyone ever questioning LA as a phenomenal place to live. First off, let’s dispel the bullshit about the change of seasons. Of course people love spring in NY after freezing their ears, nose and balls off, but why choose to subject yourself to that in the first place? And for those who think 72° every day is boring, well it is – about as boring as having to bang that supermodel wife of yours every day.

But wait. The 72° thing itself is a myth. Above, we have a pic of yesterday’s temp in Burbank. I snapped it, then drove a half hour home to my place near the water, and snapped this:
So, 101° in Burbank (humidity-free, by the way), and 76° on the west side. Which one was the 72° I always hear about? But wait again – here’s LA, the day after Thanksgiving:
Here’s a shot of my high school’s football field in New York, taken yesterday by my little brother:
It hasn’t rained in LA since April. Here’s me, back in NY the day after this past Christmas, thrilled about the 16” blizzard:
Late Saturday night, my friend Warren, who had defended the east coast and derided LA for its earthquakes in various comments on my blog, sent me this message of contrition Saturday night: “As my wife informed me, we have had an earthquake this week and now a hurricane - so there goes any reason not to move to CA.”

Renew your vows with that woman, Warren.

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