Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I always ask for a refill – especially when it’s my Vicodin prescription.
• Fishermen may be philosophers, but it’s almost impossible to buy decent tackle on a philosopher's salary.
• If the sign on the store’s counter said the sale was “one day only,” why was it laminated?
• If you ever forget what a girlfriend wanted for her birthday, don’t assume it was a Snuggy.
• Whenever I leave my woman in the car, I not only crack a window, but keep a roll of Tums in the glove compartment – in case she gets hungry.