Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• I would never lie about an anniversary to get free champagne. I would, however, lie about a birthday to get a free sundae at Bob’s Big Boy.
• It’s good to learn we have Jewish brothers in Mississippi – I think we may get one or two in Hollywood next.
• I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed a perfect divorce – but I’ve seen some perfectly awful marriages.
• I prepared for this role by eating my weight in chicken parm.
• It ain’t the fumes from the new carpet in your office talking when I say it was great to meet you.