I Dodge A Bullet.

I'm not saying my nephew is advanced, but for a three year old he really loves cigarettes.

On the other hand, he occasionally has his relapses, which make it all the more courageous of me to volunteer to babysit him and his big sister overnight tonight as my brother and his wife jet off to Vegas.

Slight segue to the other day: I took a swig off my nephew’s smoothie and caught a wicked cold from him (of course.) His mom took a sip as well, but must have contracted a time-released version, because it knocked her on her ass yesterday, and now she can’t make it to Vegas, which means I am free to hit a kickass Christmas party tonight.

As a visual aid exemplifying what I avoided tonight, I present the above clip, shot last weekend after my nephew's nanny ignored his plea to watch a video, and instead put him down for his nap.

The clip is only 30 seconds of – I shit you not – what went on for an hour and half. View it before it someday becomes evidence in the nanny’s murder trial.