Once Again, Out-Of-Context Thank-You Notes I’ve Recently Written To Casting Directors.

• Thanks so much for telling me not to actually pee in the audition. Boy would my face have been red.
• FYI – getting your brother who works for the government to change your identity is easy; it’s the DMV paperwork that’s a real bitch.
• This wouldn’t be the first time a woman left me at the altar for a blackened chicken filet. But it’s definitely not the fifth.
• I find my best marathoning skills are relegated to handing out water and encouraging.Thanks so much for bringing me in to audition for you, and talk Jew food – my two favorite pastimes.
• If I were a politician, there would never be compromising photos of me. Unless watching TV all day in sweatpants and dress socks is considered "compromising." Then I'm in big trouble.