Recently, I saw on CNN that the Taco Bell dog died – along with my belief in real journalism.
Speaking of fast food, my commercial agent called me Friday morning, and I was given short notice to get to an audition for Bojangle’s Cajun restaurants that day.
When I arrived, as happens often, the guy running the video camera gathered all the actors from the waiting area and brought us into the audition room to let us know what would be required. In this case, it was a takeoff on the TV show “The Bachelorette,” in which I would play a host standing between a bachelor and a bachelorette.
When Camera Guy was finished, he sent me out, noticed a few new actors had arrived, and brought them in for directions. He told me to wait outside.
Way, way, way too much time passed, until finally the door opened and all of the actors left the room and went home. It seems Camera Guy had taped them all, forgetting I was there. So now I had to audition on my own, without a bachelor or bachelorette to play off.
Internally, I was so furious I almost had an aneurysm. I had shaved for this audition (which I hate), put on a suit (also hate) and rushed all the way up to the valley and its 97-degree inferno for this (loathe that.) And now I was going to show up on the tape as the lonely douchebag. It was all one gigantic waste, and in the eyes of my agent, an audition I wouldn’t be getting called back for.
At the time, Camera Guy said to me, “This could a good thing that you’re all alone. Sometimes a cute actress next to you distracts attention away from you.” I wanted to punch him in the throat.
Instead, I went at it alone, did some improv, did my thing, and left.
Driving home, I was so furious at Camera Guy that I called my friend Jim, a great actor/acting teacher, and asked him to meet me in a parking garage at 3 a.m. to plot an assassination.
And then the weekend passed and I got a callback.
Maybe Camera Guy was right about a hot actress drawing attention away from me, but I’d like to think that I deserve some credit for hanging in there and using my improv skills. Either way, I’m a little calmer now. And Camera Guy lives another day. For now.