Enhance pleasure. Improve your sex life. Increase your size. Run for it, girls.The infomercial people are loving them some me, and cast me in their third shoot in ten days. This time it’s for Extenz natural male enhancement, and no, I won’t be playing Flaccid Guy; I’ll be a pit crew member for spokesman/NASCAR driver Kevin Conway. And his co-spokesman, former NFL head coach Jimmy Johnson.
This infomercial work is a nice, unexpected turn in my career, and I plan on making more out of it than my predecessors. Seeing as Billy Mays did coke, and a hooker latched on to the ShamWow guy’s tongue, I think I’ll zig while they zag, and be the law-abiding infomercial guy. It’s actually kinda catchy.
This booking will also propel me past the other guy at my gym with a late-night TV credit. That's right – suck it, dude who ran into Chris Matthews on an episode of “To Catch a Predator.” (I’m not making this up.) By the way, you should probably avoid using Extenze, ace. That can’t end well.
