Now that I’ve removed almost all of the blue paint from the Leno Show (handy tip: acetone fumes are a nice, thrifty high), I’m setting my sights on Conan O’Brien, who’s close to signing with FOX for a show beginning this fall. Getting on the show will be a little trickier, since he mainly uses his staff for bits, but I must make it happen, if only to shake the hand of the man who not only gave $12 million of his severance pay to his staff, but is now organizing a comedy and music tour to benefit them as well.Conan feels bad that his "Tonight Show" people are out of work, so he’s bringing them along on the tour and taking no salary for himself. He’s also started tweeting, and mentions both the live shows – and his restlessness – here, in some of my favorite tweets:
- Today I interviewed a squirrel in my backyard and then threw to commercial. Somebody help me.
- This morning I watched Remington Steele while eating Sugar Smacks out of a salad bowl. I was naked.
- This is only my 5th tweet and I’m already exhausted. My God, how does Ashton do it?
- I just had the fries at the McDonald's in Culver City near the Lady Foot Locker. SO AWESOME. If you can get there, ORDER THOSE FRIES.
- This morning I applied for a job at Home Depot, but they couldn’t find an apron big enough to fit over my head. Tomorrow: Staples.
- Hey gang! Look for me at the Oscars tonight. I'll be in the parking lot, wearing my prom tux and listening on the radio.
- Hey Internet: I'm headed to your town on a half-assed comedy & music tour. Go to TeamCoco.com for tix. I repeat: It's half-assed.
- We are now adding a second show in both NYC & Chicago. For that second show, I'll be doing all Liza Minnelli songs.
- Hey everybody! We just added a second night in Boston. I did this so my parents could come. And one of my brothers.
- Tour preparations have begun. First step: Groupie auditions at Randy's Donuts off the 405 fwy. Knock twice on the white minivan.
