Festivus, Part XLIII.

It's one of the occupational hazards of blogging that soon after you attack something or someone, it'll respond by killing you with kindness. I called Florida the asshole of the U.S., and now my film has been accepted into one of its top festivals. Oops.

Okay, three things led me to this opinion of FL:

1. The show “Cops,” which has spent 20 years making bank off the ongoing tire fire that is Broward County.
2. Adam Carolla’s radio show trivia game “Germany or Florida,” in which his sidekick reads a crazy story from the newswire, and Adam has to guess whether it came from Germany or Florida. (Guy with no medical training practicing dentistry out of the trunk of his car? Florida.)
3. Spring break of my senior year in Daytona, in which the Ocean Hut Hotel provided my friends and I with a broken air conditioner, a toilet that wouldn’t flush, and no bedding change for over a week. On the last day, my friend Steve took duct tape and altered the place’s signage to the more appropriate “Ocean Slut.”

But now, I backpedal. Florida has its plusses. My friends will testify that we took a killer trip to Ft. Lauderdale a couple years back, which included driving down to South Beach, enjoying great food, better weather and strip clubs the size of Canadian football fields.

And over the weekend, the Fort Lauderdale International Film Festival became the 43rd fest to accept The Beneficiary. Well played, FLIF. Ya bastards.

Speaking of Canada, in another recent post, I said the country was our bitch when it came to hockey. Yeah, about that…