There may be one or two people out there who question my compassion, and they couldn’t be more wrong. I mean, you light one hobo on fire, and everyone's a critic.I’ve got an ass-full of manners, and I’ve got a few more of my patented Out-of-Context-Portions-of-Thank-You-Notes-I’ve-Written-to-Casting-Directors to prove it:
- I unfortunately have experience with male in-law kissing. Make that very unfortunately.
- Personally, if I had $5000 to offer a med student, it’d be so that I could get butt implants.
- Thanks for reminding us to just say no to Bolivian marching powder.
- Thanks for helping me finally learn how long a guy will last after I cut his radial artery.
- By the way, when it comes to buying diamond rings found in subway gunk, I’ve never paid retail.
- It was nice to take a night off from women kicking my ass in pool to do a scene about a woman kicking my ass in pool.
- I’m not only the best stickup man in North Philly – I make the best egglant parm in North Hollywood.
- P.S.: Don’t hold it against me that I’m a Jets fan—I’m one of the good ones.
