It’s been a while since I heaped praise on my favorite city – Los Angeles – and I’ve really gotta get back on that. I mean, L.A. has so many great qualities beyond the ability to have beach sex – which by the way is the third best sex after elevator and White House.Living here has made me realize Hitler could’ve saved a lot of time and effort in his pursuit of the master race had he just killed a few less Jews and let them set up shop instead. You see, Hollywood is full of the prettiest, smartest, funniest or most talented people from every graduating class in every high school in every hometown. It’s one huge pond and all the fish are flashy. When you get here, you’re no longer the most talented – everyone’s talented. You’re no longer the most beautiful – everyone’s beautiful. (Or at least funny). And you’d better work your ass off to stand out. Darwin was right.
Imagine one big group of incredible people pursuing their dreams. And the shallowness and backstabbing – complete fabrications; I’m surrounded by showbiz types who are the most down-to-earth and supportive friends a guy could have.
So go ahead and judge L.A. without ever living here (especially you, guy who designed the above baseball cap), but keep in mind those are fighting words. Also keep in mind I’m not really a fighter, so I’ll try to get back at you with a scathing retort. Check your email periodically for a doozey.
