As a guy who spends 98% of his day in his underwear (my neighbors will regretfully vouch), it felt good to put on a suit for an occasion that didn't involve a wedding, funeral or federal indictment.And as I stood in my suit for an hour and a half, waiting for a commercial audition Wednesday night, the casting directors read names of actors off a sign-in sheet, only to find some had grown fed up with the wait and left. The ones who stayed read magazines and chatted, rather than spending their time making choices about what the advertisers were looking for in this audition, like I did. (With a two-second break to snap a pic.)
So it’s now official: my friend/actor Mark Mainardi and I have decided to create a new business in which we help the quitters and posers get the F out of this town.
We’ll come to you and pack you up. We’ll wrap glasses in newspaper – or better yet, your headshots – and drive you to the airport, avoiding all stoplights and speed limits. We’ll walk you to the terminal, throw your ass on the plane, and get you the hell out of our way.
You see, but I don’t drive across town for an audition so that I can sign in and leave, or worse yet, get involved in some sort of coffee klatch while I stay. Stop clogging up auditions, jerkoffs, or for that matter the 405 Freeway, and allow Mark and I to put you out of your misery.
The idea just can't fail, and you know why? Because the genius switch has no “off” position. Call today.
