When I was a baby, laying in my crib, my dad looked down at me and dreamed that someday his son would grow up to write and star in a film that was accepted into 24 festivals.That, or become a podiatrist. Tomato, tomahto.
The D.C. Shorts Film Festival – right in my old stomping ground. It was Bill Clinton campaign advisor Paul Begala that said of Washington: “politics is show business for ugly people.” So as a guy who went to college nine miles from D.C., and now lives in L.A., I thought I’d compare and contrast:
• D.C. has the worst traffic – and tentative drivers – I’ve ever had the pleasure of giving the finger to in their rearview mirrors. The Beltway makes the 405 Freeway look like the Autobahn.
• People in L.A. energetically pursue their dreams. Everyone in D.C. seems to be waiting for their next pay increment and coffee break.
• L.A. is humidity free. In D.C., waking up in a quagmire of your own sweat is a nightly occurrence.
• Sure they’ve got monuments, but I’ll take a pass on the FDR Memorial and check out the sidewalk in front of the Viper Room where River Phoenix OD’d.
• They re-elected a convicted crack dealer. We re-elected Schwarzenegger. That’s a tie.
• D.C. Cab starred Mr. T., Bill Maher, the bodyguard from My Bodyguard, Otis Day and Wojciehowicz from “Barney Miller.” They win.
Thanks, D.C. Shorts Festival. You’re D.C. You’re Shorts. You’re fabulous.
