This knucklehead is my friend Jett Schaefer. Actor, model, professional pilot, former college football player and a whole bunch of other resumé highlights you can feel free to join me in despising. Including being one of the final two choices to play the lead in the film Superman Returns.Jett often appears on the cover of men’s fitness magazines, which is a tad less stellar than it apppears. Magazines aren’t big on locking down photo shoot dates, preferring windows of time that make cable guys look like pikers. So Jett has to maintain his abs for days on end, not in the shoot-me-I’m-dieting kind of way, but by literally starving himself. It ain’t pretty.
Recently, on the verge of ketosis after a shoot had been postponed a half-dozen times, Jett was trying not to pass out at the wheel while driving through Santa Monica. He got a call that yet again the shoot had been delayed, and he snapped and pulled into the lot for warehouse grocery chain Smart & Final. He walked in, and sirens went off – Jett was the store’s 1000th customer. He was handed a $100-dollar shopping spree.
Still famished and pissed, he bought 100 bucks worth of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, took them home, and had a world-class binge. When the shoot day finally arrived, he told them it was their turn to wait. He hit the gym, laid off the food again, and lost his newfound chub.
So if you ever see Jett out and about, and attempt to offer him a peanut butter cup, be careful – he might bite your hand off.
