You practically need a Pascaline calculator to determine the number of actors in this town. Double that number and that’s how many acting teachers have set up shop here.It’s uncanny. There are so many of them that every time I ask an actor which class he’s taking, I’ve never heard of the teacher.
Now, there are four or five “elite” acting coaches, whose classes are jammed thanks to a kind mention in an Oscar acceptance speech. Halle Berry’s former teacher is pretty much booked for the next four decades. But the problem with these now-popular teachers is that their rates grow obscenely expensive, and because their classes are so overbooked, students only get up and perform every other week. And if you’re not working your acting muscles regularly, your SAG card should be cut into bits and fed to you like cereal.
So how to choose the right teacher? I often, maybe unfairly, judge them by their students. If an actor sucks in one of my casting workshops, I quickly assume his teacher blows rhino.
The answer is not to choose, and just save yourself a crapload of time and money and sign up with my favorite teacher: Annie Grindlay. Annie, the MILF pictured above, is more responsible for my acting skills than anyone else in Hollywood. Her teaching style is at once both sweet and straightforward. If an actor in her class has an off night, she’ll look him right into the eye and say “You weren’t so good tonight.” And then completely fix what went wrong. She’s the best I’ve ever seen.
It’s hard enough just to secure an audition. When you finally get one, and botch it, you might just want to eat a bullet. On the other hand, you can join me in Annie’s class, reach your full potential, and book yourself some work.
