I have found my ultimate motivation. The possession that will drive me to be the most successful actor I can be. And nothing will get in my way in trying to acquire it (shout-out, Santa!)My friend John has hooked his SUV up with the accessory to end all accessories: TracVision. So wherever he drives, 200 DIRECTV channels ride shotgun.
John took me out for a spin, and while we drove around watching SportsCenter, I almost had to pop a fistful of beta blockers. The geniuses behind CrackVision, er, TracVision, deserve a Nobel Prize. Or at least a comped lap dance.
Until now, I thought no toy would ever edge out my Evel Knievel electronic toothbrush. Love you, Evel. May you rest in peace. But pardon me while I make a right on red during "The Price Is Right" Showcase Showdown.
