Monday, May 26, 2008

Yes, Your Honor, What Was I Thinking.

Everyone’s done something of which they’re not proud. A tribal arm tattoo. Signing that “Girls Gone Wild” waiver. I sat in Judge Judy’s courtroom.

With the exception of “The Tonight Show” and “The Price is Right”, all the clapping and cheering on TV is paid for. It’s just too tough a task to wrangle an audience and cajole them into applauding if you don’t toss them a few bones.

To make some extra cash, I spent many endless hours sitting in on case after case with Judy. Flip on an old repeat and you’ll catch my catatonic face, in the first row behind a hussy plaintiff.

Here’s what I learned: if you loan so much as an ice cube to your roommate, get it in writing. Don’t lend your boyfriend anything. And for God’s sake, don’t waste the court’s time trying to get your money back because your miniature Dachshund grew too big to fit through his doggy-door; Judy’ll tear you a new one.