Monday, April 7, 2008

Matt's Favorite Things.

Oprah’s audience members take home her faves. You guys get mine:



O’Keefe & Merritt Oven.
Its broken clock truly is right twice a day. And that slight gas leak lets you know: it’s working. Retail value: probably bought for some wampum.





Laundry Hamper.
Exclusively at Target, one of a matching set of 60. Retail value: your pride.




Andiamo Luggage.
Toddler’s diarrhea brown. Retail value: free for your Bar Mitzvah.





1996 Nike hiking shoes.
Scale the Palisades and still be home in time for tonight's episode of “Webster”. Retail value: the minimum hourly wage of a small, but earnest Indonesian child.




Phone.
Slightly smoke-damaged. Retail value: suburban New York home my mother almost burned down.





Raid.
Kills roaches and ants, and has a country-fresh scent. It’s a triple threat. Retail value: priceless.