Another One Of The Best Films Of The Year.

It seems like the best way to solve any mystery is to simply be the murderer.

Not the case in Knives Out. Everyone is a suspect. All eight members of a family. And Daniel Craig is a less shlubby Columbo-esque detective hired to crack this case. (He always seems to relish not playing the humorless James Bond – see him in the impossibly nutty Logan Lucky.)

The film is from Rian Johnson, who before he began directing Star Wars movies, wrote and directed two of my favorite films of all time: Brick and Looper. He continues to master every genre. Knives Out never takes itself too seriously. At one point, a detective says the house in which the murder took place “looks like the house from Clue.”

Can’t share any more. It’s a complex mystery and a very funny movie and see it soon so we can discuss. Okay? Okay.

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Pitmas.

I don’t know who’s worse – the people who sign their dogs’ names on Christmas cards, or the dogs who refuse to sign.

Ricky is always in the spirit. Even if he really doesn’t look like it.

No Expense Spared.

You should never bribe someone to get what you want. Just blackmail them – it’s cheaper and much more effective.

Literal case in point: the promo piece sent to me by Amazon for “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel.” It’s a reproduction of a vintage travel cosmetic case that contains casino chips, drink coasters and a photo album that includes a full season’s DVDs.

Honestly, the cast was worthy of my SAG Award nomination without this. Plus I really only accept chocolate chip cookie bribes.

I’m A Giver.

The best part about my friends becoming parents is that if they make me mad, I just give their kids a gift that contains glitter.

Being an elite gift-giver is a state of mind. I even take the price tags off the presents I give my dog. But as great as I think I am, no one can touch my friend Jenn. One of her superpowers is knowing the exact, best gift to give anyone.

Every year, when I want to give my agents something special for Christmas, I hit up Jenn and she nails it. Two years ago: Amazon Fire TV Sticks. Last year, Echo Dots. This year, I wanted to deviate from the electronics, so Jenn’s suggestion: eCreamery.

I chose eight top-shelf flavors of ice cream, and personalized the containers with a logo and a note from me. They’ll be arriving Monday.

Check out the site if you want to stand out. You just know all the other actors my agents represent are giving them Amazon and Starbucks gift cards. A thoughtful way of letting someone know this holiday season that you “grocery store checkout line” love them.

30 Seconds Of November.

I heard the average adult has sex 54 times a year. December is apparently going to be awesome.

November was nice, too. Here it is, one second per day:
 

One Of The Best Movies Of 2019.

Normally, adding “family” to a word sucks the fun out of it – family affair – but over the weekend, I saw a very good family movie.

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood wasn’t exactly what I was expecting. Mr. Rogers is actually more of a supporting player to Lloyd Vogel, a journalist assigned to interview Mr. Rogers for a fluff piece for Esquire, only to find himself undergoing a transformation.

Tom Hanks was very locked into Mr. Rogers and his philosophy of kindness. Tom found out last week that he’s a sixth cousin of Mr. Rogers, which in a way makes sense that the two nicest guys in showbiz are related.

There was a scene so sweet, I more than teared up. Thank god my nephew, who was sitting next to me, didn’t notice, or I’d never hear the end of it. Tip: see it with someone who practices his own philosophy of kindness. Trust me.

Holiday Highlights.

A long weekend with family in town – i.e., three full days of mouthing apologies to waiters.

Luckily, not necessary for me. My mom was here, and it was nothing but nice. Here’s why:

We had dinner at two new restaurants – Chin Chin and Urban Plates – that opened in our neighborhood this week. So new, in fact, that the silverware was extra sparkling without having been shoved into a thousand diners’ mouths. (Yeah, I use a fork for Chinese food when I’m with family. For dates, I first watch a YouTube tutorial on chopsticks.)

This, plus rain all weekend. I think we can finally put the whole “Do you miss the change of seasons?” thing to bed.

71 days ‘til spring training. My nephew and I took out our frustrations out after our football teams lost.

Why have popcorn when you can bring Thanksgiving leftovers to the theater? We saw a great movie; more on that tomorrow.