The Most Magnificent Community College In All The Southland.

Laugh it up, millennials. In thirty years, your favorite actors will be talking to you about investing in gold on Fox News.

I came across the above knuckleheads last week while donating blood at Orange Coast College. And since I’m quick to make sweeping generalizations, I could confidently proclaim that all OCC students do is play video games on tiny, analog TVs.

That’s what I encountered in the student union. But then I looked the school up, and was surprised. Scott Aukerman of “Comedy Bang! Bang!” went there, and Adam Devine and Blake Anderson of “Workaholics” met there. Scott Weiland also attended. And, New York Yankee catcher Kyle Higashioka, – who played in his first game in the major leagues yesterday on opening day – promised his mom he’d attend college, so he’s taking mechanical engineering classes there.

Turns out OCC is the springboard to stardom. Mind blown.

Slightly non-related: opening day at Yankee Stadium was 76 degrees yesterday, 40 degrees warmer than when I attended last year. I’m retroactively peeved.

High Definition Of A Weekend.

How was your weekend? I spent mine on Facebook, writing “You two look fantastic!!” on all pics featuring three people or more.

Yeah, I’m still loving having my laptop back. I highly recommend using a ten-year old computer for a couple of days, with its dim, blurry screen and inability to access to most websites. You’ll never stop kissing your retina display when it’s returned.

Case in point: watching Maryland upset the #1 lacrosse team in high def. Or, an amazing gallery of people who inadvertently dressed like their surroundings.

Scroll down, and don’t let this happen to you.

Cheapest Way To Be Captured By ISIS.

Here’s The Situation.

“Married With Children” is a hilarious sitcom. Until you grow up and realize it’s a chilling documentary.

Here’s hoping my sitcom’s humor will have lasting power. Lord knows it won’t be for lack of effort. I’m trying to write multiple episodes at once, and cram as much comedy as I can into each one.

I won’t stop until I’ve created something with which any director or actor will kill to be involved. It’s a lofty goal, but I plan on taking one big swing with this one. It’s one of my favorite aspects of showbiz: one right step and you win the lottery.

Back to work. Glad I could take a break from writing to do some writing.

My Biggest Contribution To Hollywood?

Raising the average credit score for all actors.

31 Days Of March.

If I ever only have a month to live, I want to spend it watching “The Bachelor”. Because that would be the longest month of my life.

March flew by, but I managed to capture it, one second per day. Check it out:
 

Barroom.

A man at a bar told me you can only sleep in one bed at night and walk in one pair of boots. That man’s name may have been Lynyrd Skynyrd.

The bar may have been The Wellsbourne, one of my favorites in LA. I was there Saturday night, and as usual, it didn’t disappoint.

It’s like drinking in a big English home, featuring antique paintings, shelves lined with books, leather couches and a fireplace. The bartenders dress in cool black ties and serve great cocktails. The Singapore Sling is the specialty. (Every beverage should come with a pineapple slice.)

At 10 p.m., the music in the place gets turned up about ten decibels, so you may have to yell your drink-order three times. But you can also call the bartender “barkeep”, so it kinda evens out.