Tuesday, February 19, 2019

My Patriotic Duty.

A true President’s Day sale in a mattress store would mean all the merchandise would be drenched in pee.

I bought a mattress anyway, because it’s the law, and it’s super comfy. But even better, I splurged and bought a power base that’s adjustable via remote control, and – best of all – it has a full massage component. Full massage!

It’s going to be delivered Saturday, and something tells me my new bedtime is going to be 6 p.m. It’s good to be the king.