Thursday, November 15, 2018

My Annual Pitch.

FYI: you’re not allowed to donate blood if you’ve listened to Insane Clown Posse in the last six months.

Or if you’ve gotten a tattoo recently, or had the flu. Other than that, I’m here to convince you you should.

I give regularly. With the fires and mass shootings increasing, there’s never been a better time. Here’s why I started: years ago, my father was about to undergo a major heart surgery, and the surgeon mentioned it might be smart to have people we know donate blood for him just in case. My big brother, who was working for an ad agency in New York at the time, asked his coworkers, and they showed up and donated en masse. I was overwhelmed. I’ve donated every eight weeks since.

Here’s why you should as well:

  1. Many of us want to give back, but don’t have the funds. This is a free, fast way to make a big difference. 
  2. It doesn’t hurt. (And if you drink lots of water every day like me, you’re done really quickly.) 
  3. You get lots of juice and cookies and Welch’s fruit snacks after. All name-brand shit.
  4. As I’ve mentioned before, it’s nice to have nurses fuss all over you while you’re not even the least bit ill. 
  5. The more blood you donate, the less and less related you’ll be to some of your relatives. 

I can’t promise the last one is true, but it can’t hurt. Literally. Oh, and apparently when you donate blood, it has to be YOUR blood. Trust me on this one, and thank you.