Here are a few of the things I’m thankful for this year:
- Anthropomorphized Alvin the Chipmunk
- My horse valentine
- My new potato ricer
- Ricky Williams sitting in coach
- $34 for four slices of pizza
- Dessert that took 5½ hours to make
- The tree that smashed my mom’s house
- My rapper name: Kid Pizza
- The color-coordinated Easter photo
- Ridiculous t-shirts of fellow gym members
- Ollie Shevin peeing on a law firm’s landscaping
- My negative pregnancy test
- Virgin Raisinettes
- My $19 million net worth
