If You Don’t Know How, Go Home.

The lack of pizza delivery in prison is the reason why I haven’t murdered anyone yet.

Yesterday, as I flew JetBlue from LA to New York, the airline began three days of delivering 350 pizzas each day from New York to LA.

The pies are from Patsy’s in Harlem, but I’m fine. 20 minutes after I landed, Patricia’s in the Bronx:

Great effort, JetBlue. It’s just one more reason I will only choose you. I mean, I’d totally fly United Airlines, except I’m too young to die.