I Give Thanks.

If you’re going to someone’s house for Thanksgiving, compliment their fancy rugs. That’s what they’ll be spending the next day cleaning.

Mainly, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Let me now give thanks to all the things that make it possible:

• $30 worth of candy 
• $1200 worth of ski boots 
• My fear of dudes on stilts 
• Being killed by female assassins 
• Jet-skiing through the streets of LA 
• Jason Termite 
• The most magnificent community college in all the southland 
• A roaring fire on a 76° day in LA 
• Bashing Arizona 
• Camouflaging a $250,000 car 
• Putting my picture on a 40 oz. 
• Getting champagne out of sweatpants 
• Sitting in wet underwear for six hours 
• Abraham Lincoln and Perry Como 
• Watermelon jello shots Uber muscle cars 
• The China Town Summer Fair, brought to you by McDonald’s 
• Indian Joe Torre