Thursday, November 23, 2017

I Give Thanks.

If you’re going to someone’s house for Thanksgiving, compliment their fancy rugs. That’s what they’ll be spending the next day cleaning.

Mainly, I want to thank you for reading my blog. Let me now give thanks to all the things that make it possible:
  • $30 worth of candy 
  • $1200 worth of ski boots 
  • My fear of dudes on stilts 
  • Being killed by female assassins 
  • Jet-skiing through the streets of LA 
  • Jason Termite 
  • The most magnificent community college in all the southland 
  • A roaring fire on a 76° day in LA 
  • Bashing Arizona 
  • Camouflaging a $250,000 car 
  • Putting my picture on a 40 oz. 
  • Getting champagne out of sweatpants 
  • Sitting in wet underwear for six hours 
  • Abraham Lincoln and Perry Como 
  • Watermelon jello shots Uber muscle cars 
  • The China Town Summer Fair, brought to you by McDonald’s 
  • Indian Joe Torre