Thursday, November 24, 2016

I Get Thankful.

Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across America join together to raise the country’s obesity statistics.

Thank you for reading my blog. I am appreciate you, and want to give thanks to all the things that made it possible:
  • Al Pacino crashing my blog 
  • Super Bowl Sunday repo man 
  • The moonset 
  • Two Jews walking into each other 
  • Latin George Clooney 
  • Campbell’s Chunky Hearty Pizza With Sausage & Pepperoni 
  • Prostitutes in Audis 
  • Urinals made out of kegs 
  • Attending three birthday parties on my birthday – none of them mine 
  • Canned pinot 
  • Swim trunks featuring my headshot 
  • The gas meter-reader lady who saw me naked 
  • A mascot presiding over your wedding 
  • A Jew walking into a Nazi compound 
  • The porn going with me 
  • The Randy Jones half-pound hot dog 
  • The band God Boner 
  • The nail-in-a-tire conspiracy 
  • The dude who dropped the watermelon outside the Food 4 Less 
  • The Joe’s Barbecue Hogomaniac 
  • Canned dog-food jelly beans

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