Thursday, October 13, 2016

A Brand-New Edition Of “Enlighten The Goyim”.

Whoever called it “fasting” for Yom Kippur should have instead gone with “Jews cleanse”.

Why do we fast? Because it’s a sacred commandment to observe a special occasion by practicing self-denial. I shouldn’t say “we” because a) I’m not much for religion (it’s all Harry Potter to me), and b) I already forgot why Jews fast on Yom Kippur.

But I am religious when it comes to eating, and was excited to attend my friend Marc’s annual Break Fast, with its wall-to-wall casseroles, blintzes, quiches and desserts. My friend Jeff taught me the fine art of pacing oneself through one continuous binge. Hero.

You know, when you think about it, Jewish women are arguably the most pious – they practice sexual self-denial every day of the year. Heroines.